Hypothyroidism Sucks!

What does being hypothyroid mean?  Sounds like a relatively simple question, doesn’t it?  I mean, if you ask anyone on the street, they just tell you that you’re on medication for life.  Hell, even doctors tell you that.  And that’s pretty much all they tell you too.  But is thyroid disease as simple as that?  Hell to the no!

What does being hypothyroid mean to me?  Simply put, everything.  Having been diagnosed 20+ years now has put some perspective on this, but the last few years have been the most enlightening.  The first few years it meant regular blood tests and obviously daily medication.  I didn’t think much of it for many, many years.  I took my pills, I did regular TSH testing and that really was the sum of all I and more importantly, my doctor did.

Now in all this time, my symptoms really didn’t go away.  I still felt tired, some days more than others.  I still found most things a lot more effort than they should have been to accomplish.  My doctor watched my levels, he’d ask how I felt, I told him, he’d tell me to keep an eye on it and if it got worse, we’d see about upping my medication.  it never got worse per say, but it certainly didn’t get any better either.  For all intents and purposes, I was still hypothyroid due to my symptoms vs having thyroid disease (symptom free with the right medication) and shouldn’t have been.  It wasn’t until I developed additional symptoms that I started doing my own research.

I’m still trying to get my doctor to the same level as I am in regards to more knowledge of this disease and I’ll give him credit, as he has been doing some research on his own and he’s slowly coming along.  But I’m just tired of struggling with fighting not only my symptoms, but to get proper help as well.  I’m tired of the long bouts of insomnia, the development of gallstones, the occasional need to get outside immediately because I feel like I can’t get enough air.  I’m tired of struggling to keep the brain fog at bay.  I’m tired of the months of pain in one (at a time) area that randomly starts up for no apparent reason.  I’m tired of working my ass off in the gym 6 days a week with both cardio and weights, improving my diet (yes, getting my macros right) and it not making a damn bit of difference in my weight.  I’m tired of weighing up how badly certain things need to get done because I am so drop dead tired right to my soul that I don’t even know how I’m still standing and dear lord, do I really need to do that giant pile of laundry or god forbid, take the dog for a walk right this very minute?  *sigh*  Yes, yes you do because it’s not the dogs’ fault you’ve got this pain in the ass disease, not to mention going to work or school naked is generally frowned upon.

I’m a responsible adult dammit but some days I just want to tell the world to fuck right off!  Even if the world were on fire, do not disturb me cause all I want to do is hide under my blankets feigning sleep cause who the freaking hell can sleep when your tired as sin but your body is so screwed up it won’t let you do anything but just lay there staring up at the ceiling?

Who’s bright idea was it to come up with a disease that makes you so tired you can barely keep upright yet as soon as your head hits the pillow it at the same time laughs at you and says “Nope!  Not tonight sweetheart.  Tonight we’re going to toss and turn and never get comfortable and just watch the time crawl by one minute at a time”?  I think we need to hunt that ass down and do unspeakably painful things to him.  Who’s with me?

 

 

 

Copyright © 2012-2017 Sandy Monk/Unleashthehounds blog. All rights reserved. Revised: ALL PICTURES AND CONTENT ON THIS BLOG ~ UNLEASHTHEHOUNDS ~ ARE THE SOLE PROPERTY OF Sandy Monk, and may not be used, copied or reprinted without express permission from the owner. Copyrighted 2012-2017
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January 2015 Journal

I’ve decided to keep a journal of sorts. Not a rendition of my day but more a record of my ups and downs and aches and pains. Not a lot of fun for you all I’m sure but I’ll be updating each month with as many days as I remember to do. Some just won’t qualify an entry as it’ll just be a regular day.

Today is January 18, 2015 and it’s actually day two of being down and slightly depressed. Insomnia has kicked in due to the constant pain in the right elbow which has been unbearable of late. Some days it’s not so bad but last couple the pain has radiated up to my shoulder and down to my fingers. I can’t lie on my right side as the pressure makes it worse. I can’t lie of my left side cause my elbow screams unless crooked a certain way. Laying on my back or front are my only choices and I hate sleeping in those two positions. Life can be cruel at times I’ve noticed.
So no sleep which obviously makes me tired which automatically makes me cold, cold makes my arm hurt more and the cycle continues. Just shoot me. 😛
The depression I’ve noticed seems to hit harder this time of year which I think has much to do with the fact that we should up our thyroid meds during the winter to compensate for the cold weather (new fact I was not aware of until recently) and a lack of sun. This winter has been cold and grey. I miss the sunny winter days. I want those back.
I’ve noticed today that I am getting an ache in my left knee. I’m hoping it’s just because of the damp cold that has settled in lately.
Damn, I cannot wait to get my meds sorted out. I want my energy back so I can get stuff done, shed some weight and help rid myself of some of these aches and pains.
Oh, and spring, pleeeaaaasse get here soon. 🙂

Copyright © 2012-2015 Sandy Monk/Unleashthehounds blog. All rights reserved. Revised: ALL PICTURES AND CONTENT ON THIS BLOG ~ UNLEASHTHEHOUNDS ~ ARE THE SOLE PROPERTY OF Sandy Monk and may not be used, copied or reprinted without express permission from the owner. Copyrighted 2012-2015